carry on

tigers in the bottom of the barrel
sunglasses-wearing felines &
fallacious arguments about science
kids w/ rocks 'n pasta, postboxes 'n
sandwiches w/ swans. i met (truly,
Ulysses) a mercury-sweating
caldron in the lobby with Margaret,
boy, she was acting funny.

it's like the lights-out w/o the lights
on, she said that's what depression
is. "Depression, call it depression, it
goes so, what are you gonna do about
it, that's what I'd like to know."

take off your sweatshirt when you're
talking to me, honey, i've got
my beeeeeeeads on

& again with proctors and the Lancelot-
lovers, the corn-muffin bakers & the
ice-queens whom dance in the corners

yes i was also a man once, when the
circumstances allowed it

but i tried, Dan, i tried i tried i tired,
like i'm looking in a glass here, the
mirror opening like the moon becoming
a body of water in which to swim
a cold hard woman that's looking
to knife you.

i believe in foster children's toilets
& magma machines & pushups.

please carry on.

Dan's morning routine

Dan's home was practically a museum, built out of white marble slabs and featuring low-slung windows that looked like those in a post office. Indeed the whole monument had a feeling of a civic gathering spot, as opposed to a house. 

Dan woke up in the morning in his king-sized bed, draped in purple satin and redolent of potpourri (his maid, Linda, who he had a crush on but had been afraid to ask out, loved the stuff). Plenty of swords and medieval weapons adorned the walls. There were also several televisions, most of which he had never turned on or set up. 

After rising at 10 a.m. – an hour that never deviated – he brushed his teeth and strolled out of his cherrywood doubledoors, emblazoned with silvery chicanery (objects, symbols, political gain, chevrons). He strode across the strip of grass along LaBoutain Boulevard known as Dan's Park and then entered the Refinery, his sem-private "lunch club," where a team of doctors and surgeons waited to examined him. 

His bladder, kidneys and tonsils thoroughly prodded and interrogated, Dan sidled up to the breakfast bar, where Lorraine (his kidney doctor's wife, a real gem) ceremonially asked, "What can I get you, Mr. Fontaine?"

"Eggs Florentine, ma'am," he replied, as always. 

His eggs came bedecked in spears of asparagus and slathered in Mackerel Sauce, which contained equal portions of Clove Oil and Spearmint. Dan really was a maniac. 

After the eggs came a hunk of whale blubber, as well as a tidy bowl of pure ASPARTAME chunks. He loved these, and loudly made suck of them. 

Then, the salad course, which he never ate. 

Finally, desert. Rat-tails crusted in real sugar, opossum eyes and arrangements of gumdrops made to recreate scenes of mastodons fornicating. 

After breakfast, Dan was often frisky, and he went into the basement of the refinery, where Jill and Jo were waiting to tickle his scrotum with ostrich feathers, and stroke his cock until he ejaculated into a pot made of baked mud. The pot was never emptied, a point about which Jill had complained, only to be stricken by Jo, who was a violent and dangerous woman, and whose arm-grip strength could choke a pregnant buffalo. 

Sated, Dan then sometimes went out back for a game of tug of war with a pack of measles-infested children. Dan was oddly immune to this disease, despite never having received a vaccine. Predictably, the Fontaine's loathed vaccines, almost as much as they loathed diseases. They didn't mind rats, however, prone as they were to loving the darkest and foulest corners of our human-created world. 

Jim DeBelsh, Dan's foreman at the cemetery, would then usually give Dan a briefing about the daily body-rearrangement ceremony, and the grave-digging initiative. At 12:30, Dan would plunge his head into a bowl of cold water, and yawning, retired to his bed at the civic center for a nap, and, occasionally, quaaludes. 

thirst

Sometimes the border of the cliff isn't enough to keep people from going over it. Here is an exhibit: a man with sandals playing basketball and tweeting about "the horse-race." By which I believe he means the race of actually equines in the next county, but by which he could also be referencing humanity. It's hard to tell what a surgeon is thinking.

But that was yesterday, and this is today. I've dropped my stuff off in the lobby and to be honest I can't tell whether we are discussing the elegant flames painted in the bathroom tile, or the purses containing amphetamines that somebody stashes beneath the bleacher seats at Times Square. The moment you realize your alive you're already dead. That's a joke of course.

Evenings with Gladys were among the best I've ever experienced, truly Julie. An orchestrated, balmy evening in the bowl of a stadium with winter wheat stocked up in our coats, crowing about unicorns and fancy de-palmed believers. Did you know that they can erase your signature after all? They can erase your fingerprints, your Social Security Number, and your make-believe identity. Sometimes I sweat laying on my bed at night thinking about the turmeric lobby and all it's done to wrest power from the powers that be.

And just like that, another German on spelling vacation, licking his wounds from the last come-uppance. I swear, Julie, I could've beat that n-----, and if he'd looked back at me one more time…

Just now walking down 17th street I was saying "Preta" to myself (reading aloud, upon seeing sign for the over-priced deli of the same name where I often eat breakfast because it's the most convenient option) and looking at my reflection in a shopwindow. I noticed a girl passing by staring intently, smiling widely, like she was very interested, or amused, or both. Or she thought she knew me — but she didn't say anything. I looked back at her and she was glancing back at me. What are you supposed to do in those moments? I swear on all the vital organs of the continent I should have ran after her and come to understand her, made plans to see the symphony, grown old with her by a lake, but I just kept walking like a foolish ordinary human being thinking there's no other option but to keep on.

Then there's the part where you're all out of plans and you're thinking about Wisconsin, or talking to a girl down by the jetty about signatures or dopamine. Both are pretty individual to the person that makes them, and how do you know my brain's chemicals are like yours? I don't think it's obvious we know anything about what makes a person decide to get out of bed in the morning, or enroll in an expensive preparatory school to become a clown doctor. 

The Whole Earth (pt 2)

The Whole Earth

is wholly property, 

you see, for him & him, 

but not for me. Don't you 

see, don't you see? 

Power doesn't answer, 

nor ask questions easy. 

Don't you see? Don't you see? 

The whole earth, the whole 

infirmary. A cold collected 

purpose for this purpose, 

incomplete scenery. Writing 

about the proverbial sand-storms 

or the sand castles, like a chaste 

woman (for the first time) in 

a fraternity. 

Please, if you'll bless me, 

don't make me again recount this 

goddam rosary, the "first time" thing, 

virginity. 

I've suffered enough for never 

having made a woman suffer 

through my indigence, 

my superiority. 

Over-ripe fruit, that! what a waste,

what an egg-shell too many. Here's 

Dom Maize, crowing about his 

virtue when he ain't got any. 

(Slippery boulders somewhere 

related two-and-two, becoming 

four like her concern was for 

free.) You really like me, you really

get me. You really don't understand 

how important it is to notice the 

scenery. (Sure kids, just keep writing 

on and on, like there's a recursive voice 

here, something made and collected 

and broken again into pieces that 

jade up the whole works, that 

make a man more brave than he probably was 

already, that make a man really want to 

roast something, whether it's his best 

friend, 

or a whole new tribe of actual people. 

Am I talking about nuts? Yes, let's fetch 

and eat them as soon as, believably,

one could, though not greedily.)

many reasons

there are many reasons

why i'd like to move on 

the sea, for example, 

continues her midnight reveries 

dark and immaculate in her waves 

the fish sleep as they swim along, 

daybreak the sound of bubbles rising 

and anchors descending, and history 

ending. 

i've had dark carcasses on the mind for 

weeks and maybe (, bless me, ) i could 

have been colder than an April shower

[]

icy reigns withholding her tumultuous, 

cavernous reason. yes i've held breasts 

in twilit hours, grinning, and yes i've progress(ed)

perhaps as far as the spider is spinning 

her web, and the web's beginning. i don't 

know how to slope it out of the park--i'll 

have to hit it. i don't know how to make this

aroma any darker--i'll have to quit it. i don't

know how to make a lager any quieter, 

so come back in the afternoon when it's lighter. 

a flame to the candle to burn 

and a mantle with candles to burn 

a mantle with a man chanting sunscreen 

clouds in front his eyes, Indigo Bunting 

shimmering waves

shimmering waves 

all around me       :::  

a pegasus wiping his 

tears, confounds me--

this madrigal girl, w/ 

a heart like a calculator 

beaming his bird brightly colored 

up -- 

toward heaven, or to 

her nemesis :: wives in

the kitchen and Connecticut

from Beverly to Hilary are heavenly. 

backing up now, away from

the straw, away from her manic 

abbreviations of wood. my body

makes water like papyrus 

made scrolls -- except the plant 

was not ashamed of what he 

shed off. Grooms and Latter-Days

and boys without spittoons, shining

Mexicans' shoes with ribald glee. 

If you want to know the truth just 

ask me and I'll tell you, I'm in charge

here, In charge of everything, In chase

of this moment likewise, like this is 

how a person begets betterness. 

I don't like cloves or garlic but butter

is just right, now. Like borrowing or 

robbery, I tell you what I think --- 

nice scenery. Expecting some kind 

of better judgment to seize me, but 

I'm disjointed and breezy. Gaps & 

windows open, a slow lonely purpose. 

I've kind of lost my steam even though

I can still sort of keep it out. Of the trees

again, the false presence or the false 

dichotomy. Broke her back on the back 

of the fraternity. I wanted to make it 

easy. For somebody. To remember me, 

this parcel or this empty bassinet. I don't

believe in locomotion, I believe in parsimoniously 

telling the truth--and the spell is over. 

The Films of Nestor Kacinsky (conceived 10.24.07)

1.

The films of Nestor Kacinsky

are like watermelon babies, borne

into water apiary: this pool is a birthing

zone. On Summit Ave., I become a

metaphor, and I have long since doused

myself in redolent cologne. Before

moving on, the past explains itself—

or doesn’t, so you wait; she wasn’t

perfect after all. Even bees appease

nobody, disappearing strangely,

nevermore. Nevermore, a song too

appropriate to avoid being sad. Never-

more, so many people and things,

since-extinct species, the sky itself

once described by throngs of regrets,

passenger pigeons, deadspeak. Alcohol

once was illegal. Melancholy is medieval. I

am tired of one line endings, sadness.

Therefore, write something, and the ceiling

will become more bearable. Perhaps being

nothing more than transparent to sunshine.

2.

In the bay at Summit Ave. I have met

people in earthenware circles, here, there,

hiding behind shrubs, in alleyways and

on balconies. I have tendered green in

swank hideouts, brave rooftops and--

the first time--ducked-down tennis court,

Clark Park. Mass emails don't contain,

anymore, special thanks to kind churches,

but they contain instead references to

another kind of Good--a plant's discovery

of a foreign land, where you forget how

normalcy works (but not entirely). Pain--

think about it--is the hardest feeling to

summon from memory. My brain knows

how to forget. My mind plumbs always

more these times, un-listening. So I will

put flowers un-pollinated in a glass cave,

burn them, and relinquish, something suddenly

undeniable, though undeniably not-a-thing.

This is why I end singly; That is why religion

is a twice endless stew. Social lives are at first

quiet & isolated, then made to order: meaning 

is finally brought to bear. Peoples, countdowns. 

Dr. Kazinsky's Mind-Cleanse

Cleanse your heart
Purify you mind
Eat mushrooms
One at a time.

wealthy conspiracy buff

[A missive from a wealthy conspiracy buff's  

masseuse (october):]

existential body club 

bodies and cubs are withstanding wholesome 

fourth cubs of running hubs & 

oh-my-gosh-whom-when-how are these pale-bonnetted 

lasses investing drums 

dumb, can't collect the cold pipes can't 

even when the whole wild world is culling 

corpuscles or properties, hmm? taste these 

word processer hands, leeks, these pale watered

down petunias of tomorrow backslaps handslaps

culled empty, hi

Hades, nightshades deadly, block out the evening-dark 

blooms of her mushroom's daybag

her bloody neat-o-rama bookshelf, or, 

I-don't-know, somebody's oatmeal being 

eaten recently even if you're not your 

best self all the time, seek silence 'n 

craving 'n style points 'n backlogged

hammers, like a marathon beast of best-logged

policies and cold frenetic bones held together

with ligaments 'n ferry decoders 'n damn digging machines 

caustic colliding raiments, fragments of code 'n 

cooling towers with fucked-up fish 'n stacks of 

draining drawn but drainable powertools. domes,

damn, doors. water under the brigade / loop / send 

empty chucks to the dancefloor with ideas 'n doped 

sentences that-go-like-this what? are 

things, doves, wore, war, or warhammer, like 

day-glo candles banking brandishing candles candles 

cankersores cores bored & boarded corporate dunces 

Dung, Dang, dingers fucked 'n boarded 'n bearable

(boring sleeves man) 

built from a PC launched at the Apple Marathon 

for goats, non-humans are the next market for 

computers & Mars flights. Humans are the next 

ghosts. Folders & Viagra forever, I keep 

thinking it's Thursday. Thanks a lot. 

Pineal Melatonin: Cell Biology of Its Synthesis and of Its Physiological Interactions*

Phone Convo

"Where do I work? Well, that's such a loaded question. I'm a "graduate." I have several alma maters. I have several daughters. I'm a member of C.L.A.Y. - Capital Letters Association (YOUTH). It's open to young acronym enthusiasts everywhere. I'm 42 years old. The thing about C.L.A.Y. is it's malleable. Pottery is more than just a hobby to me. Without pottery I couldn't have ever built my granaries, for one thing. My third daughter was conceived in a grain elevator, but I thought of the idea of conceiving her long before - at a C.L.A.Y. meeting, actually. That was in Denver in 1975. I'm actually way older than 40. But it's rude to ask a woman's age. In fact, it seems like you are really trying to get a lot of information out of me."

"Um, I just wanted to know if you'd be interested in a health insurance plan that offers cheap dental-"

"My teeth are just fine, thank you. The only plaque I have is on my living room wall, it says "'Molder of C.L.A.Y.' - participant, 1938-2013."

"Jesus, how old are you?"

"I refuse to answer that question, you little shit. In fact, I have half a mind to report you to the authorities. Back in my day, if you even raised your voice to a C.L.A.Y. counselor you'd get gutted like a fish, and scalped like an injun - oh, it looks like he hung up. Well, I suppose it's time for my dentist's appointment anyway..."

Flintstones Meet Jetsons

Wilbur, I'm home. What a charlatan web we weave.
Every snowflake is unique, unlike every time that phrase is used.
My knife is my baby- my baby is my knife.

I've recently taken up weaving - bought a hair loom
really threw my family for a loop
swoop and pull. The kicker? Laces were out.
Lollipop, tie a bunny's ears in knots
and put it in a bin with the other loonies.

Better late than never. Too soon forever.

Yours truly,
Trevor

Piecemeal Survival

Every piece of meal is an act of survival. At the revival factory,
things wound.  It's true that we ate each other's food. It's true
that we too were just cubs.  There are men with knives

who like to caress their knives.  It's hard to picture
them as pink little dumpling babies. But we get old
and live in specific neighborhoods.  It would be too much

to survive all at once, like a deep sea diver rocketing
on a camel near Bluto.  You turn me right, round.
No human can be dancer.  It's true that we dance.

Lumineers

Them boys are nothing like the lit-candle kids. Lumineers
is basically glossy smiles on middle-aged moms, & have nothing

to do with the sun.  Some people would strum on your ass all day.
Some people are in the "alternative energy sector," which is noble

actually, energy activism, you know? A kind of unfucking of the whole sport?
Random guys and acid parts, intestinal fortress men? Our Heavy Deeds

& the "better life" if you would. Would you? Fuck you. Would you?

Pie a la mode

"Close the shutters!" screamed the bellhop, "everybody scream!" Circuitous misdirection, you see. There was no one outside, nothing to be seen inside. It was an unannounced game of Simon Says. A game the bellhop was scarily good at. Over half of the guests unwittingly lost went they raced to close the shutters and the rest were out when they began to scream. There are only so many shutters in the hotel.

Horizontal Vertigo

"It's clear as mud," bleated the goatboy, through the thick, dense fog. "Nobody knows what you're talking about - just give up" - a quote attributed to nobody in particular. It was really foggy. And damp, yet not exactly raining.

Foggy days are full of potential. Pontoon boats. Frogboy's in here somewhere, let's come back to that. Eleven is actually too big of a number to spell out. But who's counting?

My favorite fruit is lemonheads. My dad likes alligator pears (avocados). His name is Crocodile Dundee. Not really, but you can imagine how stingray that would be if true. Stingray is an adjective loosely translating to "pantalones," or "flash photography."

Sister's brother is calling me out to the pasture. Must mean dinnertime is over. More later.

Nautical Anyway

It is a Hemmingway of sorts, a "true brute," dare say,
of a craft: all hulking post and heavy brass. You steer

towards a foggy patch, of course, greenblue too yes mm hmm.
You can taste the hush, gliding in the fluff. Suddenly, a goatboy

whinnies shrilly in the distance, & your neighbor is suffocating
you with his sack. You could always have a heart attack.

In the unspeakable dark of the deep ocean, there are electronic fish
pulsing Bangkok-bright. Think of how much sand gives to water,

the magnetizing lull you know too. You want to hear the sirens.
As with other curses, a choice first. And who should stop you.

Love in the Time of Waco

A goat on a ledge is always safe
& precarious, unless about to be kicked
or there is a large unavoidable boulder.
Nothing short of catastrophe can keep us together. Would you mould her?

In the compound, I imagine the people
to be Amish, & feel ashamed. I wonder if Koresh ever played Tetris.
We watched the compound burn. Because we watch things burn

there is not an insignificant chance
that we will set something on fire
for the viewing pleasure of others.

We welcome stories about cults because we are relieved to outlive one doomsday. There are buildings on fire, now.

Four Horse Woman

M'lady's a fourhorsewoman, a quarter more 

for you and yours; The Giver is bearded

& white as any white god. Adam Smith

& the Ouijas. Electric, current. The horseboy

rocks in the chairlift pit of the video still,

blowing. Measure your life in tape.

The Whole Earth

I've been away. I've seen the whole earth.

500 men met me at the first gate. I've held

many, many babies. Maybe your bones

are something like a shuttle. Maybe the shuttle

has bones; in the bone dark of space, alloys.

One day in our lives will be the greatest day

in our lives. Space is absolutely breathtaking

via lack of oxygen. I have studied a broad.

Onward.

The drake couldn't stand the ashes falling from the sky. They were all over him. He didn't know what to do exactly. What was he doing? Please don't be afraid that I'm going to Disneyland. Please don't be afraid that I'm going to Hawaii. Please God, Pray for me, I'm like a helmet here, what am I guarding. I want the lungs to behave like a fish; I want the body to round out my hammer. I'm a Thor-kid, one of the wonder-ones. A calculated spacecraft examining batteries. A self-loathing loser with a head full of amphetamines. I did once and I do now; relinquish this time-space for a walk in the nether-regions. A calculated outpost of mourning; A singular phantom of Nature. I exist like a lamb in the sweatshop--I put out like a tired cat yawning. There is no time to rest, now--there is only time to procure. Onward.

untitled #12

whoop! goes the
heady youth,
up go the
breadbaskets.
whose
asks the guidesmoke
then
says the timeline
him
asks her deadpan
if
says the red pen.
never.

14 lines

i'm terrible;
nobody noticed.
her get-well card's
lost again

i'm greedy, kids
what a pill
whose wet blanket
vacates the subway

all dash no
answer, all verve
no banter. no
calls to no actors,
no pulse, no dancer.

"predictable cloth gown"

i'm really inspired
by her damn good tits,
said the man on the commercial
under his breath anyway.

this is a segment called
"predictable cloth gown,"
where a model who's not a model
wears a cloth that's not a gown,

spins around, & we marvel
how celestially it wraps her frown,
meaning her body.
oh yeah, you heard it hear first, kids,
her gown really hugs those curves

then she leaves on stilettos which
are actually made from a rainspout
& carted here by some sad Nigerian
a racist example of fictional man.

force me to be pregnant, she'd say
later, to her first fiance, who never
existed.

once gone, Molly & Misty &
Miserably really let her have it,
(all worthless t.v. people, once redundant)
gouging her badmouth & her
busted body shape, which is

(it turns out) not even a model's.
she's maybe a McDonalds stockgirl
or even a descended soda jerk, like an
undescended testicle, waiting to pop out
like a murderous uncle from a

curtain in the corner. yes, she's
a real fraud, we'll say, remarking
about her lack-of-looks while cunningly
knowing that we're better, far better,

than the sad fucking cheapskates
who score our collective mind deeper
with every sadlist day, with every
pan of the goddam camera.

i'm still watching.

5 + 5 + 6 (revival's a sin)

revival is a sin. what's lost is lost.
what's dead is dead is
well maybe undead but this a hiccup
what's dead is redblood
boys without makeup. biceps anyway,

i've worked on 'em. i love you
without the rain, i love you
if even you've cared hard.
too late to be a breaker, too late
to spot the moonfish. this is a

question without a raisin, this
is a therapist without clients,
a special about rich people
handing each other golden globs.
it's no wonder there aren't children,
not anymore.

merry cougar's breadline

please don't take this too literally,
i'll ask you, if i'm out-of-work but
overpaid. i'm trying to adjust this
sentence. the car is washed i've told

you, but it damn well doesn't help.
i'm trying to do this, so many things.
sometimes the end of the line is the
end of the sentence. looking over

like a gram of rain falls on continent.
no articles necessary. a bead breaks
on her forehead like sex is
a damn good excuse for foreplay,

sentences structured like so many
gunwales protect a boat or a fortress.
maybe a marine project. these beds
(as they're called) of seagrass are

marvelous. fish & turtles & diving
ducks do this, eat green rain, spoon
boogers (bored, they are) to each
other. why not? a million reasons

to exacerbate the soul, a million
raisins to precipitate my strange
blood, in a saucer where it fouls.
sure let's make it a verb, i'm

nautical anyway, when words
are landed daily by the fishkeep
who keeps refilling your quota.
Maine's the best start to a northeast

adventure, if you've got Canada
but New Brunswick. getting
obtuse like motions obscene or confused
alerts the ref and the cameras.

literally the worst post yet

did you flip burgers in the Cretaceous?

are you a gracious one

are your flowers
prone to wilting

have you done it?
like in the pottery shed
do you have one

do you have a body,
can i look at it
do you have a number
can i look at it

can i dial
a dum-down, a diary

my calf isn't waiting to contract
it's pretty much already contracting
i'm walking after all
walking & blogging (naw knock it off,

gnaw your pocket (chew your ear out)

get in his ear muffs (find some dandruff,
Piers) blow out seaweed

(your nose is fine, rusty plumbing,
sunburnt clothes))

talk to your dad about it

bricks on the sidewalk

underneath,
rudimentary graveyards
of ants

Pickup Lie

my little sweet potato fry
you're the apple of my eye
i'm incapable of lies
(yeah right, not really)

spit-rage (make money online!!!)

[This idea came to yours truly in a dream, introduced to me by a weird co-worker:]

It's a whole new genre of experimental theatre, ladies and gents, called spit-rage! Instead of "Mothra vs. King Kong," it's "Mothra meets King Kong's creator and reams the ever-living marrow out of him for his appropriation of the of animal-revenge oeuvre."

Spit-rage is mad daddies and absent mothers, unscripted bitching about bitching and hamsters letting loose on each other, perhaps unaware of sentience. It's this sentence, except ANGRY and italic, without the crudeness of italics. It's... It's... fucking garbage can lids on fire in a movie, snitches! It's a biodiesel bulldozer deciding to blow a tire iron out its tailpipe. It's corn on the cob outlawing silk.

Spit-rage, you pimp! Spit-rage, sugar-dads! Spit-rage, the bane of halfhouse loonies, huffing ponypaint. Spit-rage, the last vestige of humanity in an otherwise arachnid planet. Spit-rage and dingo-queens getting queer about the fiscal cliff, dooming and preening themselves like ovenware fresh off the assembly line.

[This message brought to you by #SpitRage Trending Topic, LLC]

The Markovich Bros

[THIS IS A MOVIE IDEA]

The Markovich Brothers: Only one can win.

They are two dueling designers. But also brothers.

One designs a blazer that is designed for pot smokers.

The other makes a blazer for firefighters.

Each thinks his design is better -- and dismayed the other brother made a "blazer," too.

But only one design can change the world.

A high-stakes showdown is in the works.

#BLAZERS

"It's Blue"

[THIS IS AN ADVERTISEMENT]

Got an empty water bottle full of urine in your room because you're too lazy to get up to use the John? No problem. With "It's Blue" you'll be fixed in no time. Just put a few drops of this non-toxic, herbivore friendly dye into your piss, and it will turn it blue. Now you can just explain that you're keeping around bottles of antifreeze in anticipation of drinking it to commit suicide.

"It's Blue" -- we don't solve your problems, but we do give you new ones!

Dreamland

I'm at a local enclave, which reminds me of the student center at Wash U, sitting with new friends and old. Some are real and some are not. Some I still talk to, some not. The restaurant/bar is dimly lit, probably because the bar/restaurant I went to in real life last night was as such. The table next to us is the only other one I can see. Behind my friend Drew's head I see a girl get naked. Our waitress is blonde.

We are drinking, and I order some food. The waitress drops something of mine, perhaps a piece of toast, on the wooden table. I don't think much of it, even though it falls right on a particularly grimy patch of something disgusting. We continue to converse, and I wish I remember more about what we actually talked about. If you can't remember it, it's not all that important though. Right? Tight.

The meal, I suppose it's dinner, finally comes out. This time, the waitress drops part of my meal on the table again. She actually rubs it on the grimy spot several times before putting it back on my plate. All of a sudden I am furious. I take the item (a curved bright yellow slab) and fling it across the table at the waitress, and say "I want to talk to the manager." She barely acknowledges with a grin, and walks away. Another boob and nipple are out behind Drew's head. This one is brown (the breast) and the nipple is pierced. Nice, nice. I casually point it out to my friends.

The manager is not forthcoming. People are finishing their meals, while I have refused to eat. A brunette curly-haired girl with nice skin tone talks to me briefly. I guess I think she is from the table next to us. I get up and walk to the front of the bar. No one is there, so I proceed up a couple of stairs to the staff/kitchen area. There I ask the brunette girl for the manager. She says "I already told you there's nothing we're going to do," and is very curt. My fury increasing, I follow her when she storms back to the kitchen. I see her talking to a tall skinny guy with a sleeve tattoo - the manager. I stand there as she says " there's this guy at the bar, he's being an asshole to (insert blonde waitress' name here - maybe Lara or Mara) because she messed with his food, I don't know what he thinks we're going to do about it." She has a mocking tone, and the manager is smiling as well.

I am officially livid. I make it clear that I hear everything they're saying, and approach the manager as brunette waitress walks away, and someone that looks like the blonde waitress walks by with a tray, still smirking like before. I tell the manager what happened, and he basically tells me to fuck off. I respond smiling through my rage - "ok, but I'm not going to let this die. I'm going to post this in the student newspaper, tell everyone I know, and generally rain hell on this place." I realize that I am flailing and feel pathetic and degraded, especially when the manager is unfazed by my thinly veiled threats. As I walk back down the steps towards the entrance, I decide that my airing of grievances was not enough, and I have a moment where I think to myself "Just be the bigger man. Go home, think about it, and you'll get revenge later." Instead, I fucking lose it. I start to throw things - luckily there are many jars of candy on the counter and other buckets of things to destroy. I decimate the entrance area in a matter of seconds as people around me start to take notice and alert the staff. Before anyone can approach me I take off running.

I'm on the Emory business school campus, sprinting as fast as I ever have. Wearing basketball shorts and a t-shirt, I don't even feel the cold because I am absolutely flying.

Then I wake up. Just another dream reflecting my insecurities and tendency towards rage, but hopefully not an omen of grave portent.

Nonsense

Day to day misuse
generational issues
no added effects
generation X

poison gas - sarin
equally apparent
in the air apparently
heir apparent

a parent of a kid

a parent of an adult
ancient Egypt
ain't shit awful these days?
(yez)

despondent despots
non-respondent
refuse to expound upon this
because I am a psychologist

embarrassing alchemy

I rest my sore ankles in the cold

water of a copper urn, 

lined on the bottom with unicorn teeth. 

 

The magic leaches 

from the mine; 

It comes back like pine needles 

getting cold again, come winter. 

Winterwillcomethepineswillgrowcold

thepineswillsurvive

thepineswillthriveagain

 

t h i s is a l l about rebirth,

and using Androgel 1.62%, 

this is about fucking up

and finding the way to say

hello, i'm in mourning, 

early signs of puberty in a child,

maybe he's using my product, 

(PLEASE BUY 

OUR TESTOSTERONE 

SHAM)

 

hey baby, get out' my grotto. 

pain during sleep

wood clots in the legs

 

the television laments us

with TV dreams and insane nichrome 

wires, heating our goddam spleens live

silver smithereens, a broken pipe

discovered when you step 

on a glass shard. 

 

Only then. 

this is what's happening THEN--

Oh man, traffic spikes,
like a dike breaking and molecules making
their way down the culvert to the other side
of the hill that separated the waters.

Meeting people is like saying hello,
my favorite color is yarrow--your favorite
flavor is yellow. "My favorite weed
is Jimson--eat their seeds &

you're Jim Henson--people become
muppets and their heads become puppets--
strings held by somebody whispering
words of their own, snippets really,

about a game on television regarding
basketball that you are watching, but
not completely paying attention to, because
you're writing. That's what you do,

that makes you." 666-6666. For wherever
you want to go--right call now, be on time--
six six six, six six sixty six. THE NUMBER 6! 

A commercial just now interrupting my
thoughts like a fucking virus. 

Is This A Question

It sure seems like it.
Why the long pause
after saying what you said
?

Is this even a response.
yes: yes.
Do you see what I see
?

Upside down question marks
hablaramos mañana amigo
tenemos soco y amaretto, y como se dice "lime"
?

3 miller lites y una piñata.
chips, salsa, tequila con whiskey, fiesta 
chili con carne
!!



pterodactyl
terrible - redact
pteronadon
and on and on 

Lepidoptera.

Adoption Era

brown ankles

the brown indian girl said
the straw was itching her
brown ankles but really it
was her
over-starched socks. madre
esta nuevo,  has an amigo,
hasta la cervezas mas fina.
hasta la vista. hastas in the
backyard, water them.
hastas & columbines. vines.
she think not too much
about thee, socks.

anymore. the heart, she says,
moving on,
is never ending. it is a bla
nket woven into a shroud
that's circular. si senor. the

frog & the fish are, how do
you say, amigos. they drink
cervezas in the dugout or
argue about sobriety. i told
you, i'm not using, ever
again. i just want back in
the business. (who doesn't.)

was this a story or is this
the conversation we're
having.

who is her body
needing, nobody asks any
more.

is this a thought or a request:
fuck me like tomorrow's
never coming.

i'm getting tired of all the
second-guessing.

white ghost of a fish

a staunch ally & his sister were eating
she said: i'm really breathing aren't i
here ribs were rising & falling -- yes, then,
he said, gritting his teeth & gleaming up
(meaning looking) at yon moon ha-
rumph, up there. another afternoon will

come with it's inevitable clomp of boots
on the sidewalks and now, another glass
of wine, another
ball of twine just-here-now gone, dear
mother, your son's in a sweatsuit & has
taken up postage stamps. you know,
he's (you'll find him) going to various

postal stations throughout the nation
with his hands held out siphoning stamps
from the feel-good daddies, who are
singing songs of lamps & glue, days
& nights spent fingerlessly staring
(with tweezers) inspecting; carousing
the nebulously bureaucratic ghosts of;
licking & sealing; paying & pumping;
weighing just right; adorning with trim
& bunting; these sacred parcels hereto-
fore undelivered and then magically

-- like a white ghost of a fish
out from the green water of a
December shoal --

appearing!: a gift from mother.
happy halloween

Few words re: dreams

Many sad faces bad places

emory memory erasers

shots no chasers

shows with no lasers

shows with lasers

activate the phasers

of the moon,

phase 2: beginning soon

you can play through. 

if you sing in tune

out of touch 

with the earth

you put your faith in mirth

and happiness,

but what happens if

the end of the world is near
Mayan Christmas 2012 this year

Fiddler and the Elf coming in 2031 though
when the world doesn't really end
and people hopefully don't freely pretend
or feebly attempt to blend in to be normal
conformist conference, very informal like an
infomercial, immersed in diversions. Virtual
versions of me you see on TV
not really, I don't watch TV it's so trendy
i'm on facebook so friend me
you're in the digital age I'm at Wendy's

this should be a rap

Rations

Oceans are waterfields
Nicaragua
grunt, harumph
sacrifice bumph
glucose strudel
leinenkugel,
chicken noodle

all over the place

the strident light is fading

I smoke menthols. Stop hating.

oh, yeah what of it?
holier than thou haiku
like you're above it?

descended from heaven, irreverent
irrelevant.

Arrowheads are fossils too, man
I think I found a GEODE in the riverbed
but maybe not, hey-
maybe I find them a lot.

but I don't really.

I am Lake Erie
hear me swim
Great but not superior
wait - not inferior, just not
lake superior itself

getting weirder as i get wearier

fear me - er- beer me -
hear me out
hear ye hear ye
announcement announcement

announcement is the frenchest word ever
or not (whether).
or whatever


birds of a pleather
plain yellow sweater
the lady at banana republic called it "bahnahna yelloh" 

for she was a jolly good fellow

two lovers

i wana be in your bubble
i wana cuddle
i wana dance with you in a rain puddle
i wana be your partner in crime
and cause trouble
i wana
i wana be your life line
in the middle of the night

when youre in the dark
i wana help you find the light

i wana be your quarter back to back you up
when you struggle
i wna be in your corner
whenever you fight
i wana be the corner that supports your structure
and the glue that hold the ship together
if the hull ruptures

its all good baby
you dont got to rhyme to flow with me
just do what you do and be who you be
you always know the right words to say to me
to calm me down
to help me see
and youre the ocean that inspires me infinitely
ill be the air in your sails
carry you safely out to sea
you be my lotus flower and ill be your bumble bee
your sexy metaphors are making me lusty
take my pollen, make me honey
that i can taste endlessly

thats hot mommy i feel the way youre sweatin me
make some brekky in the morning
use our love honey in the black tea

are you real baby cuz this feels like a dream
my mind wants to be one with yours
im getting weak in the knees.