Free Lance

I bought mushrooms from a man named Elaine.
They were oysters - now what the fuck do I do with those?
I only eat fungus if I'm sure it's going to send me on
an emotional rollercoaster, 4 to 8 hours long

I bought nutmeg from a guy named Meg.
I cooked it, made whatever you make with nutmeg.
Oatmeal? Cinnamon rolls?
I honestly have no idea.

I bought my car from this dude, Carla.
Where do I meet these androgynous fucks?
At a bar called The Vortex, great tater tots
but it's really dark inside.

I spent the summer on the Jersey Shore
Never again
got punched in the face
by a girl named Bo

My uncle's name is Celery
bet he got a lot of shit for that