Nothing is brave. I'm so friggin' sick of all these goddam mutes
coming in here like it's a minotaur party. Hey! We aren't here!
More nuggets; more threads of flea bait. I simply do not want
to write about myself. Can you ask anything else? Why do I
like journalism? Tell us about yourself. Nothing sexual, or too
personal, or off-topic. Your favorite color probably doesn't matter.
Of course you have to play this game. Everybody does.
And everybody is full of it. Absolutely full of it. What can I tell you
in 750 goddam words that you couldn't make up?
"Born in Rotterdam, head full of drugs. Love cooking.
Never spent more than $3 on headache medicine.
Fell in love once--ended in murder. Decided on a
career in vaccine studies. Didn't get too far--disease
and mercury poisoining. Really tragic.
Anyway, I have three penises. Totally sexual deviant.
Likes: all kinds of chocolate, especially white.
Dislikes: counting things, and clocks.
First word: Trans-fat. I'm deeply concerned about my diet
and diabetics everywhere. If you have a heart,
free me from this prison, or I will firebomb
every Kinko's in America.
Please consider my application... I'll kiss your ass
all sort of ways if that's what it takes. But don't make
me write one more word of this shit. Please."
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment