Kids Deer-Watch Too! (Literally The Best Thing Ever Written)

Have you ever spun out while driving?
I have. Just last year when I was pregnant.
Driving about town, looking for deer
with brown animal eyes and whose --oh-- fluid
jaunts light up the eyes of the schoolchildren
watching the deer jump by at a meeting of the
Kids Deer-Watch Too! club.

Which got shortened to KD-Watch.
That's where I met my girlfriend and
how I got pregnant. At the sick ass
KD-Watch party. Me and Marty and Stacie
and Brooke and Naven and Ryuku and Tamisha
and Roseanne and Piper were there,
just chillin and shit, you knowwwwwwww;
sitting around flogged out of our gourds
on 100 micrograms of LSD, hiding in a frail
woodland lean-to just waiting for some deer
to run by.

What you think it'd be like:

a tidy local nature reserve
full of sweater-wearing tykes
dreamy-eyed and all
hunching about the frosty glass
("Club goes on in winter, too,
daddy!") to glance a little bit
of reindeer flesh (deer) to walk
by the window. They WANTED TO
SPOT A DEER, OKAY?
There are American's Christian Youth,
on a field trip! Hoorah!

What it's actually like:

A scraggly hoard of filthy drug-addled
youth find shelter in a tucked away
forest just off the drug orchard. They're
wearing gray linoleum sweaters with
glowing moth-eaten holes, all these young
masons passed out in a crowded huddle-
formation under a crude lean-to.
For a window there's a musty dusty
scratched window of pale plastic, the
kind you see covering up recessed windows
and a couple of these drug penguins
every now and then gets up the gumption
(or the nerve, swallowing a handfull of pills
from their amphetamine pockets)
to peer through the dirty fake window
and see if there's any deer to spot
(or something cool to light on fire).